dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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