She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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