probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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