I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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