What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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