Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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