did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize