I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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