We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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