1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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