If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
