so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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