Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize