So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
