I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
