so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Randomize
