ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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