Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
