from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
