It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize