You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
