you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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