Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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