dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
