I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
