Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
