after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
