Me. At least after what I've been through.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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