Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
