I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
