"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
