Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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