Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize