She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
