Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
