there's paper in my vomit.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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