Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
As shirtless as possible
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
