All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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