Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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