I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Congratulations! We have a period
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
