in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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