Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
