i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
