We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It's shark week go big or go home
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
