I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
