when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
