I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
