Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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