I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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