everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
