Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
