# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
