weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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