Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
