Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
