I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
