Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Slut skills are useful in every country.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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