You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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